I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
