YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
