..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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