his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
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Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
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My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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