i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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