I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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