Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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