Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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