The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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