fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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