My liver just broke up with me...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
accomplished twins. life is a go
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?