I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.