Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.