Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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