batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
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I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.