Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
