an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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