If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
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I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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