Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
