You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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