She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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