everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
