Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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