So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize