you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
