Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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