I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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