I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
