You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
