I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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