i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
