I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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