Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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