No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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