Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
