I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
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There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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