11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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