I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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