she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
