So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
