Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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