You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
