dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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