Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize