yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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