Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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