I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
