She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
