You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
