she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize