Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
