ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
