One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
