You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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