Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
