i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
