I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How's work?
Spinning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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