how can u be prego again
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
