I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
