I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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