I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize