Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When did angry sex become our thing?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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