i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You can't motorboat a personality
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
