sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
