ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
