ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
