I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize