maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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