This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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