you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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