brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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